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No. 277
by she she me
August 4, 2006

Sponsored by Boden and Stylish Bridal

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Retail Therapy Top Ten

I have always considered myself a somewhat mature and responsible girl. While certain life events can sometimes throw me for a bit of a loop (like completely missing out on the first day of the Neiman Marcus Last Call Sale—had to attend some lame quarterly business conference where we only got an hour for lunch and were expected to stay on the premises even though there was a Neiman's a mere 18 blocks away—I could have totally zipped over and back in the allotted hour, been several pair of designer jeans ahead, and hardly even have broken a sweat!) But I digress. Back to calm, cool and collected. I am a girl who tends to go with the flow and roll with the punches. When life hands me lemons, I not only make lemonade, but can serve it up in tall, iced crystal glasses with a sprig of mint and a lovely plate of cookies, all festively presented on a linen covered table whose gorgeous centerpiece was fashioned from the leftover pieces of said citrus fruit. I'm a bit like Gumby, but with cute hair and better fashion sense. And killer shoes. And my skin isn't green. However, speaking of green…

Had a bit of a shock at the mailbox a few days ago. Among the credit card bills, fan mail and fashion catalogs was a thick creamy envelope. Could only mean one thing. Wedding invitation. Didn't recognize the return address, however, and wondered who on earth was informing me of pending nuptials. As I slid the satin-embossed card from its sleeve, a photograph fell to the floor. There, smiling up at me in glorious technicolor was Jeb! Ex-love-of-my-life—leaning against a classic Jaguar with his arms wrapped around a girl who looked suspiciously like Ashlee Simpson-pre-nosejob-and-with-the-dark-hair. Jeb is getting married? To a teenager?!? She She phone home!

I realize that we broke up nearly three years ago, and we've both moved on but he's not Boston Proper, Inc.supposed to get married before me! And NOT to a teenager (OK, so she's actually 31my mom is a veritable font of information; and by the way, why didn't sheor anyone elsemention any of this to me when I was back home last weekend?? I guess that explains the sudden silence whenever I walked into a room. I just thought everyone was amazed by how great I looked in my new Rock and Republic jeans. And super sassy scarf top.) Again I digress. Back to the teenager. And the obviously airbrushed photo. And Jeb, who's supposed to pine for me for the rest of his life. And also sit in his ratty old leather recliner, dressed in his ratty old bachelor's clothes, looking at photos of a stylishly clad, highly successful and nationally recognized me in all the glossy magazines and think, "Ah, there's my little She Shesuch a media darlinglook how far she's come!" And what's with the Jaguar? Jeb drives a truck! Will not hyperventilate. Will smooth furrow between brows. Note to self: check out Botox alternatives. Will think happy thoughts. Will treat self to uplifting and enjoyable diversion.

So how does a twirty girl deal with an ego blow? Why, retail therapy of course! Nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING lifts a girl's flagging spirits quite like Michael Kors handbags and gorgeous lingerie. (Hmmm, don't remember modeling for that ad.)


  1. Killer kick-asterisk heels. Not only will they add inches to your height but they will definitely boost your confidence. A girl always feels better when her gams are on gorgeous display. This updated spectator will positively glam up your skirts and trousers!
  2. Über-chic handbag. Perfect for the up-and-coming stylish urban professional. Or the stylish yet very, very busy mom-on-the-go. But NOT perfect for a twirty-something-Ashlee-Simpson-wannabe. She should stick with this one.
  3. Lingerie to die for. It is a scientifically proven fact (well, it should be anyway) that what a girls wears under her clothing does as much to boost her confidence as the actual ensemble itself. Besides, what girly girl can resist satin, silk and lace?
  4. A gorgeous party dress. And party shoes, natch. Which, of course, means that you should probably go ahead and throw a party! Waste not want not.
  5. A great cashmere sweater. Every girls needs one. It's a classic. This luxurious cardigan will carry you through autumn, winter and right into spring!
  6. Sassy skirt. Will look so cutting edge/preppy with skinny leggings and great ankle boots. (Should probably add chic sweater or blouse so as not to get arrested for indecent exposure.)
  7. Kissable you'll-miss-me-when-I'm-gone lipgloss. Just a hint of sparkle.
  8. Arm candy. And maybe a little frosting. After all, diamonds are a girl's best friend!
  9. Subtle, soft and sexy new perfume. It is another scientifically proven fact (for sure this time) that scent triggers mood and memories. So go ahead, trigger a tropical flashback or set a romantic mood.
  10. And finally, time for a little mood music. It has been said that music can soothe the savage beast. Well, it can also pacify a totally peeved twirty girl so crank up those iTunes!

Happy retailing twirty girls!

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She She Me Sponsor:

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