Come Sail Away (Part 2)

When last you heard from me I was staring into the emerald green eyes of Seth the Sailor Man, bona fide skipper of the S.S. Chloe and potential Captain of my heart! I mean, what are the odds? A man who not only has chosen my favorite classic color (navy) as decorative contrast on his ship but has also actually named said ship after one of my very favorite designers! (Turns out namesake of ship is actually his dog, but still, what are the odds?) Happy little fantasies of moonlight sails on warm summer nights, the sweet scent of tropical flowers wafting on the breeze, the music of steel drums (suddenly seem to be in Jamaica)...am getting ahead of myself...

No sooner had I arranged myself decorously and to best visual advantage (after all, had taken great care that my ensemble be fashionably nautical, whereas fellow shipmates could have been cast members from Lost) when Gilligan tossed each of us a life vest which we were told must be worn at all times above deck. I have to admit that the SpongeBob SquarePants vest I ended up with did not enhance my stylishness. And thus began my initiation into the wayfaring life of a sailor...

Lessons Learned Aboard the S.S. Chloe

1. Sailboats not only move forward at a brisk pace, but they move side-to-side and up-and-down. If one is not accustomed to such motion one tends to turn green. Luckily, relief is available once you lean over the rail and hurl. Note to self: Bring motion-sickness patches (so that's what the little bandaid thingy is that everyone else has behind their ear) next time I sail (if ever I sail again). Steal glance at Seth, hope he hasn't dismissed me as maritime wimp-no, apparently many people christen the sea in just such a manner. Accept breath mint and Diet Coke.

2. Bright sun and temperature in mid-80's on shore quickly deteriorates into frigid wind accompanied by salty spray once you are out to sea. This is especially inconvenient when wearing only trendy little lace top, fashionable capris, and SpongeBob SquarePants life vest. Bonus: Captain Seth shrugged out of his warm, fleecy jacket when the chattering of my teeth threatened to capsize ship. Once I was wrapped in warm Seth-scented folds, trip became much more enjoyable.

3. The sea jaunt is extremely action packed, with much heaving to and hoisting of sails and battening of hatches. There are booms to avoid and mizzen masts and rigging, and I had absolutely no idea what anyone was talking about. I just ducked my head when I was told and remembered not to spit into the wind. Once I left my lunch behind, popped a breath mint and re-glossed my lips, it was exhilarating!

4. Hats worn on board must fit snugly, preferably with chin-strap, otherwise they become kites, as I sadly learned with the loss of my stylish chapeau. Ended up with bandanna wrapped around wildy wind-blown hair, looking much like Captain Jack Sparrow.

5.Having dinner in a posh restaurant overlooking the ocean is one of life's little pleasures. Being delivered right to the dock of said restaurant in a sleek sailboat is a total BONUS!! Was about to step off ship when Chanel (girlfriend of Gilligan the first-mate) called, "Hey She She! Aren't you going to change for dinner?" Note to self: Learn how to retrieve voicemail from new cell phone. Apparently was sent message last night with instructions to apply motion sickness patch one hour before boarding ship, wear appropriate footgear (these are great for shore, but apparently not for ship), dress warmly, and bring along a little black dress for dinner in posh restaurant. Thank heavens for ShopGirl's insistance that my tote always contain emergency essentials: hair brush and fancy clip (for when hair is frizzed by humidity/totally untameable/just plain scary) so hair may be piled stylishly on head for that casual, effortless glamour; lip plumper and gloss; mascara; undies-with-no-VPL; girly cocktail dress in travel-friendly fabric.

As it turned out, my maiden voyage aboard the S. S. Chloe was a success from both a professional standpoint (I scored serious brownie points with the co-workers when I lost my lunch and then laughed about it) and from a personal view—Captain Seth has invited me aboard this weekend for a 4th of July sail pour deux! He says a moonlight sail that ends with fireworks is an experience not to be missed. Hmmm… wonder what kind of fireworks?

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