Change
Change is a funny thing. I'm actually quite two-faced about it. I love it with things like the seasons when we go from ashen winter skin to balmy summer tans or from over-worn flip-flops that by summer's end could walk on their own to crisp rich knee-high boots that reek only of fine Italian leather and chic ensembles to come. Alternatively, I don't like change when it comes in the form of a break in my routine. For instance, when someone is filling in for Katie Couric and I must spend my mornings with someone else. Or when someone new comes to spin class and gets on my bike.

But more than that, I have a problem with big life changes. As much as I like to think of myself as a mover and a shaker, a single, independent woman racing through life in the twirty lane, the truth of the matter is that I'm quite a simpleton at heart. In essence, I like staying in and watching videos and eating ice cream as much as I like a night on the town. And, as hard as this is to say out loud, I like bumming around in my grubbie jeans and Newbies as much as I do getting dolled up in heels. (Yes, even fancy heels. And yes, even fancy boots with heels.) I didn't used to be this way. Or at least, I didn't used to admit it. I'm changing and I don't quite know what to do with myself.

I figured all this out in the think tank. I was soaking in a yummy lavender bath oil and flipping thru my J. Crew catalog. They've come out with these wonderful cable knit sweaters this season, and I'm truly captivated by them. They represent something so honest and real. They speak loudly to taking long walks in the woods alone. There are no woods near me, but I really get the part about being by yourself. Sometimes it's good to be alone. Aside from that, they are perfectly All-American chic, and think tank analysis states that I'll need five. But that's not the point. The point is that I think I need to break up with Jeb. I think it's time for me to be alone with my cable knit sweaters. I need to spend time by myself and get on with getting on. I need to read books and go flea marketing and wander around with no destination (a fave past time of mine that drives most friends mad thus a wonderful solo activity). My season of cashmere and coupling is over; it's time for change.

You should know that Farah hung up on me and Shop Girl gave me the hand when I said that my decision for breaking up was based on J. Crew's cable knit sweaters. Both have since noted that I have a very odd fascination with the fictional lives of J. Crew models on location for which I should consider seeking counseling. But sometimes even the arguments of the wisest of friends are not enough. There are things in this world that a girl just knows, and like a good pair of shoes, this was one of them.

Which brings me back to change. How hard this will be. For the past year-ish, I've spent all my time with this boy. I've daydreamed about our wedding (on a ranch in the fall with everyone in tartan). I've practically planned my every day around him. But somehow, I've changed; and I have to move forward without him. Though it won't be easy - this change - I have to say that I think I'll look really cute all the while. And while many may judge me poorly for taking consolation in something so base as wool, the rest of you will understand that in times of great change a girl needs something to hold onto.