UADD and AES
One week post break-up and I'm A-OK. Life could be a whole lot worse than being on my own -- there could be no Lipglass by MAC. Or, Frito Lay could have forgotten to make Scoops, the most fattening potato chip of all time. Plus, rebounding from life's low points is actually very doable. It just takes a little cash, an aesthetician and a hair dryer.

As a veteran of the rebound, I booked an appointment for a blow-out driving home from the break-up. Like taking Vitamin C before the cold takes hold, you gotta book the blow-out before the emotions explode. There's something about the process of massaging the scalp, neatly brushing the mass of wet tendrils into order, and then section-by-section blowing out the dampness. It's like they're really blowing all my problems out of my head. It's therapy at its very best, and I'm petitioning to have it added to my company's insurance plan.

But that's not the point. The point is that I had my blow-out yesterday, and it was with a new 'therapist' whom I think was sent from God to be my new friend. Her name is Tallulah, and aside from the fact that she uses Bumble and Bumble products, lingers on the massage part and lets me sleep during the blowing, she was wearing arm-bands around her biceps to - as she said, "combat UADD." (We, of course, all know this means Under Arm Dingle Dangle, but to find someone outside of our little circle who speaks our language so proficiently is like finding Prada on sale. It just doesn't happen every day.) So, I counted myself blessed and proceeded with further aesthetic therapies.

Anyhoo, we bonded some more over tweezing and she said she could tell that I'd been going through a rough time because my eyebrows looked like caterpillars and that I'd obviously been over-focusing on my nails for Diversion-from-Problem-Therapy. (Apparently, this is common behavior for Twirties going through break-ups.) She calls it the AES (Anti-Engagement Syndrome). It's where our subconscious stews over the fact that marriage and the coveted left-handed ring is nowhere in sight, so we compensate by over-manicuring. I found it all very interesting and am feeling quite good today. It's just nice really to know that there are people out there who get it, who feel our pain. Don't you agree?

I'm outta here. Have an afternoon appt. for a pedi. Apparently, it's the best therapy for AES. Doctor's orders.