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Do You Think
It's Weird?
 It's
amazing how much one life can change another. It's even more amazing
when you consider how tiny the person is who instigates the change.
You'd think it would be the other way around. But alas, this hard-headed
girly-girl
who once upon a time believed that skinny
jeans and tweed
heels constituted casual Friday is no more. In her place is
a girl who believes that practicality
(I never thought I'd embrace flats with such vigor) rules the day
- to the extent that her husband is beginning to question her clothing
choices. And it's all because of a little
nugget
of a boy. Which really got me thinking...
Do you think
it's weird that my husband, who thinks that green shorts and
a green shirt 'match' (if it weren't for me, he'd be an M&M),
is feeling the need to guide me in my fashion
choices? I mean, really, there is no reason for me to take off a
shirt that has pee and throw-up (P&T) on it before going to
the grocery store. I'm only going to come back home for more. And
honestly, cutting the grass in my pajamas
is not unusual. They are already dirty from aforementioned P&T,
and it would only dirty up another outfit to change before
yard work. Which brings me to...
Do you think
it's weird that I will do anything to decrease the amount of
dirty laundry? This is coming from a girl who used to live
and die by the dry cleaners and their wash-dry-fold. You can see
I have issues with laundry. Honestly, I think my old demon of having
my roots showing by one millimeter has been devoured by the laundry
demon who suffocates me in a mound of P&T'd dirties.
Do you think
it's weird that my baby sees me naked far more than my husband?
Oh, pick your jaw off the floor. You can't say you don't do it too.
Where else do you put the little
angel while you're taking a shower or a bubble bath? And heaven
forbid I get dressed alone. Of course, this practice will have to
end at some point to insure that no psychological damage is done;
but for the time being, he's pretty much the only one who gets the
daily dose of my not-quite-what-she-used-to-be. And speaking of
not having time to exercise...
Do you think
it's weird that I get dressed
for the gym every day even though I never go? My husband comes
in and sees me and a twinkle forms in his eyes that looks like pride
when he says, "Oh, did you go to the gym today?" No, I
didn't. But I really thought about it in-between laundry loads.
This only scratches
the surface of my newfound weirdness. There is tons more. But we
don't know each other that well, and I don't want to really freak
you out. Though there are those of you who know exactly who I am.
You're the ones who don't think I'm weird when you see me coming
out of the handicap stall of the grocery store bathroom with a cart
full of baby and groceries. You know that bladder can't be pushed.
You also don't think it's weird that I can't watch The Apprentice
anymore, because you understand that 8pm EST is my bedtime. And
for those of you who can relate to these situations, let's agree
that weirdness becomes us. After all, with a house full of laundry
and a P&T stains on every blouse you own, what else can we do?
Happy mothering.
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As
the holiday season quickly approaches, we have an opportunity for
you to SHOP AND SAVE at your favorite stores throughout the Triangle
all the while helping a great cause. Translation:
fully justified discounted retailing at the Triangle's Chicest Boutiques.
(This is a treat that could only be topped by full-fat, full-sugar,
full-carb chocolate that makes your thighs skinnier.) All you need
is an itch to shop (which I know you have) and a